12/15/06 07:31 - ID#29638

Will the beatings ever stop?

Periodically, since my wife and I split, it's felt like I get turned into a human punching bag. Nobody did anything wrong yet the vicissitudes of life come down like bad plumbing.

I have daughters who asked my ex to ask me if they could pass on coming over for awhile. They want to hang, they just down want to sleep over. Ex also mentioned that her vibrator is missing and for the record I ain't got it. She (my ex) went to great pains to assure me I was doing okay on the Dad front. It's just the close surroundings were interfering with the kids being 15 and 12. Intellectually, I know all of this and understand it. I'd rather the girls pass then be here unhappy. But emotionally, it still reduced me to rubble. Your brain hears everything and is fine, but your heart stops listening after "We don't want to come over."

I kept it together as I went across the parking lot to my car. Once inside the lil red bus, I let it go. The pressures of doing 2 1/2 jobs at work and then hearing that from my girls managed to suck the fight right out of me. So, here I sits, man enough to mention I bawled most of the way home.

Sucks to try so hard only to get beat down again.

Knew it was coming, but you'd like a little praise for all the shit I've had to put up with in recent years.

I settled for the next best thing. Number 1 Son and I just repaired to Fowlers for shakes.

Chocolate malt to sooth the wounds.

ladycroft writes at 02:23:59 12/18/06 - Comment #13764: i wish you peace.

libertad writes at 10:36:46 12/16/06 - Comment #13734: mrmike, when I was around the age of your daughters my parents got a divorce. Actually, I lived with my Dad and it was my mother that I went to go and see. Going to my mother's apartment was great, but also very draining. There were times that I felt like your daughters and it didn't have anything to do with my mother that I didn't want to go to her place all the time. I'm sure that your daughters are not playing favorites, but rather just want stability. Just hang in there and maybe write them each a letter. Assure them that you understand how they feel and you want them to know that you are there for them when they need you. Maybe you can ask them about creating a new visiting schedule? Divorce is difficult for everyone in the family, but from what little I know of you it seems that you are always doing your best. Your kids will always remember that.

metalpeter writes at 11:41:32 12/16/06 - Comment #13716: Does it hurt yes, should it hurt yes and does it suck yeah it does. I think it might be better that they asked mom to ask you, because they at least know that them asking directly might be to hurtfull or they where affraid to ask you. Belive it or not but in the long run it might be better for both you and them at 12 and 15 they both may be changing a lot. Sometimes fathers and daughters don't get along at those times do to dating and things like that and a lot of bitterness and resentment forms between fathers and there daughters. I'm not saying it shouldn't hurt cause it should but maybe it is for the better. It dosn't mean they don't like you or don't care about you it just means they would for what ever reason rather be with your ex. Try not to take it to personally. All you can really do is be who you are and hope people like that. Hang in there.

leetee writes at 12:08:58 12/16/06 - Comment #13705: Ouch.

(((( (e:Mrmike) ))))

I think all teenagers go through that "geeze, my parents are cramping my style" phase, particularly parents of the opposite gender. Even cool dads like you aren't immune, i am sorry to hear.

I firmly believe that if you are always open and there for your daughters, they will come back to you and may even wonder why they wanted to pass on hanging out with you.

As for the crying... well, damn, if we can laugh in public, why can't we cry? No shame in it... real men cry, for sure.

mrmike writes at 12:01:02 12/16/06 - Comment #13704: Thanks you guys, positive reinforcement has been rather sparse of late.

uncutsaniflush writes at 11:42:47 12/15/06 - Comment #13703: The fact that this bothers you proves that you are a good dad.

I know you know that your presence in your daughters lives is very important.

I bet that they *KNOW* you'll be there for them so they kinda take you for granted. But you are still their dad and they love you.

imk2 writes at 11:10:46 12/15/06 - Comment #13701: awww mike, that sucks big time. but i know that you know, that this will pass and soon your girls will realize what a great father they have and will come back around. it might take a few years, of boys, of partying, of being teenagers, but they'll be back. even if not physically, because of college, or jobs, surely emotionally. hang in there, i totally know how you are feeling. i have a 13 year old too.